Staff, classmates, swear oath never to share secret of long division with Disneyland absentees

Term time Disney - as empty as her education.

Term time Disney – as empty as her education.

Children returning to school after term-time trips abroad could face a wall of silence around work they have missed while taking advantage of cheaper fares.

That’s the recommendation of teachers who see fines as ineffective against low- and middle-income parents who believe they have a right to go on discounted vacations in June that they couldn’t have afforded at summer market prices.

“Parents may think their children can catch up, or get the worksheets they missed – but if these measures are introduced, they will not even be informed what topics were covered while they were away. They won’t even know there is a 7-times table,” warned Carly Jeffery, assistant teacher at St. Mary’s primary school.

“We want to send a clear message to parents – there will be a permanent void in your child’s education, and we will do nothing to help them. They’re on their own. They will not be able to function in the world.”

Children taking time out of school could face life
* not knowing how to spell as many as 20 new words – tricky words like “beginning” or across”
* not knowing what children wore in Victorian times
* not being sure how many ways to make £1.82 with coins
* not having been inspired by a visit from a local athlete who was in the Commonwealth Games
* having no idea how James and the Giant Peach ends

Classmates will be encouraged to shun the sunshine returnee, and a form of mafia style “Omerta” will be enforced to prevent the school-shy from getting the gist of what they missed from their peers.

Teachers hope parents will “think again” about justifying their transparent selfishness, knowing that their child might never know about, let alone understand, ox-bow lakes.

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