Tag Archives: speech

‘No new coalition without Lib Dem MPs’ warns Nick Clegg

clegg sandwich

Clegg half-heartedly eating a knuckle sandwich.

The Liberal Democrats have warned voters that there will be no future sell-out to the Tories, unless they actually elect some of his Lib Dem MPs.

The stark warning came as Clegg brushed aside questions about bedroom tax, tuition fees, bombing foreign countries, sex abuse cover-ups and actual moral fortitude. Instead, he read out the frequency his radio show is broadcast on and promised to do a fun quiz.

“A protest vote for us can still serve a purpose”, said Clegg. “A ‘vote for yellow’ is a vote for disappointment, a vote for underlining your disgust with the current voting system. A vote for highlighting the abject futility of voting.”
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Miliband admits Labour spending plans were vetted by Tesco’s auditors

The moment of realisation

The moment of realisation

Only minutes after his triumphant keynote speech, Ed Miliband was in trouble again after not realising that Labour shared auditors with troubled supermarket giant Tesco.

Intending to underline the credibility of the spending plans, the gaffe prone leader managed to strike them through by revealing that Labour had used the same accountancy firm as Tesco, who owned up to a £250 million black hole in their profit statement.

The beleaguered leader made his latest cock up during an interview with Andrew Neil.
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