Tag Archives: Somerset

Climate change refugees flee Somerset for Atlantis

atlantis

RUINED: Incomers have created ‘mouth breather ghettos’

The City of Atlantis is struggling to cope with the sheer number of ‘climate change refugees’ pouring in from the West Country.

Once a quiet, moist metropolis with a bouyant economy, Atlantis now resembles ‘something from a Wurzels video’, according to one resident.

“They come down here with their rough cider, their red neckerchiefs and their lungs, and expect us to provide them with air”, claimed merlady Floella Kelp. “I wouldn’t mind, but some of them have brought accordians and leave sticky lumps of Stinking Bishop all over the place. I’m all for multi-culturalism but there has to be a limit.”
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West Country still under hosepipe ban! 5 Amazing Flood Facts

Could we really be back to scenes like this by Easter?

Could we really be back to scenes like this by Easter?

Amazing but true! Here is a round up of the latest flood news: 

Hosepipe Ban Despite floods covering vast swathes of the West Country and now, the Thames Valley, it has emerged that a hosepipe ban is still in force in some areas. In confirming the news, a spokesperson for South West Water from the Isle of Taunton, said “We usually gauge the need for maintaining a ban by checking the reservoirs; however, the reservoirs have mysteriously disappeared so we have to remain cautious, otherwise everyone will be whingeing about a drought by Easter. We don’t know what happened to the reservoirs but we suspect looting.” Continue reading

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Screw you Poseidon: toughened by failed cull badgers thrive and evolve in Somerset floods

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Who amongst us does not have swimming with badgers on their bucket list?

While floods continue to cause misery for the people of Somerset they have proved to be extremely good news for badgers whose population is not just thriving and growing but to the surprise of naturalists becoming tool-using. Continue reading

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