Tag Archives: nurses

Hospital patients “enchanted” by waiting room banter

“I felt a bit of a prick, nurse.”

Bob Price, an 82 year old former boxer, delighted the many people waiting at Dunstable Royal Infirmary outpatients department for blood tests this morning with his relentless banter.

A stalwart of many a waiting room, Mr Price greeted each new arrival with a cheery “I’ve been waiting here since 8.30am you know”, following that up with “there only seem to be two nurses on at the moment”, “they all go home at noon” and “it didn’t used to take this long at the Walsgrave”. Continue reading

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Filed under Around Harold, Entertainment, Health, NHS

NHS trials ‘skinny suits’ on obese patients

skinny suit

Skinny suit can make the fat people feel ‘as svelte as an airship’.

The NHS is squeezing fat patients into skinny suits, to give them an idea of what it feels like to be slim.

Imported from the US at a cost of £1,000 each, the suits can compress a 400-lb woman down to a size 10 dress size: the process uses something called ‘gut wax’ and an industrial vacuum.

It’s hoped that the suits will provide an insight into just how hard it can be to roll some of their fattest fellow patients from the ward down to the vending machines and back, and perhaps establish a glimmer of self-loathing, moderation and personal responsibility.

Anne Fallow is in charge of the trial, and explained the NHS’s new approach to dealing with the clinically greedy.
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Filed under Medicine, Technology

Royal College of Administrators complain members ‘drowning in nursing’

Stethoscope-2 copyThe Royal College of Administrators has come out to today and asked for a review into the amount of nursing its members are currently having to perform.

Off its 1.2 million NHS workers surveyed, 67.4% said they spend up to 22 hours a week giving basic first aid, post-operative care, and working in triage

Most of those surveyed also believe the amount of nursing they are expected to do is increasing and stopping them providing a decent level of administrative support.

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Filed under News, Politics, Uncategorized