giraffe | The Evening Haröld

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by waylandsmithy | February 11, 2014 · 11:00 am

Owner of zoo for inbred animals accused of nepotism

Rhino horn?Attempts to widen gene pool have been unsuccessful.

A zoo for inbred animals has been criticised by an audit, which found most of the staff shared the same surname.

Harold’s Incestuous Petting Zoo is a favourite tourist attraction in Bedfordshire, although most visitors learn less about genetics than they do about mocking the afflicted.

Amongst the attractions is a sealion with a hare lip, a hare with a sealion lip, a family of monobrowed otters, a very slow loris and an elephant with a big shoe.
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Filed under Around Harold, Nature

Tagged as big shoe, Denmark, giraffe, inbreeding, lions, Longleat

by rickw | February 10, 2014 · 9:00 am

Giraffe dead, now Danish children ‘forced to maim otters with hammers’

Sweet dreams, kiddies!!!

In its latest public relations triumph, Denmark is to give all its schoolchildren the opportunity to maim and slaughter healthy rare animals in the nation’s zoos.

Following the popular move to kill Marius the giraffe yesterday and cut him up in front of an audience of retching kids, Copenhagen Zoo’s science director and blood-crazed psychopath Bengt Holst now insists the orgy of slaughter must continue.

“Yes, there were alternative zoos across Europe keen to take this healthy animal,” conceded Holst, “But what they do not understand is that I MUST KILL KILL KILL, RIP DEAD GUTS AND SPLINTER BONES IN MY TEETH. That’s the very valid point that they’re missing.” Continue reading →