In its latest public relations triumph, Denmark is to give all its schoolchildren the opportunity to maim and slaughter healthy rare animals in the nation’s zoos.
Following the popular move to kill Marius the giraffe yesterday and cut him up in front of an audience of retching kids, Copenhagen Zoo’s science director and blood-crazed psychopath Bengt Holst now insists the orgy of slaughter must continue.
“Yes, there were alternative zoos across Europe keen to take this healthy animal,” conceded Holst, “But what they do not understand is that I MUST KILL KILL KILL, RIP DEAD GUTS AND SPLINTER BONES IN MY TEETH. That’s the very valid point that they’re missing.” Continue reading
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