Sloopy twist.
Cancer today announced that it is running scared yet again as Stephen Fry has got it on the ropes and is now in recovery following surgery for prostate cancer. Continue reading
Tag Archives: cancer
Cancer running scared as Stephen Fry is in process of kicking its arse
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Filed under Media
Tobacco firms producing branded line of cancer drugs
Following their high court defeat over plain cigarette packaging, tobacco companies have announced a move into branded chemotherapy treatment.
“We accept that we have to start moving into new areas,” admitted British American Tobacco spokesman Harry Death.
“Our research shows a remarkably similar demographic between cancer patients and our existing customers. Really, it’s uncanny.”
Marlboro have already launched an aggressive cancer drug for the rugged outdoors type, while Benson and Hedges’ Silk Cut chemo will be aimed at users who do not really need treatment but don’t want to feel like they’re missing out.
Meanwhile, for those who find the whole chemo thing a bit too strong, why not try menthol-chemo for the cool rush of winter – like that bloke in the operating gown in the Macmillan ads.
This is only the start of big tobacco’s monetization of its products’ longer-term effects. Camel have started selling amusing hump-branded urns, while Superkings have a range of longer than usual coffins for budget-conscious tall people.
“Breathing linked to cancer!” says Daily Mail
Look! All theses stiffs were breathing before they died
In a major longitudinal study, first revealed rather breathlessly in the Daily Mail, researchers at Dunstable Royal Infirmary have identified breathing as a key factor linked to cancer and eventual death.
The project’s leader and Harold’s very own GP Dr Clive Evans, explained the breakthrough. “Until recently we’d focussed on dead patients, who generally weren’t breathing at all. But when we started to monitor live patients, an astonishingly high correlation with breathing suddenly emerged.”
‘Forest’, the right-to-enjoy-a-lingering-death-from-tobacco people, Continue reading
‘Brave’ men to go into work unshaven and dishevelled for bollock cancer charity
John Virgo – Everyday Hero
In the past few days, hundreds of thousands of ‘courageous and empowered’ women have posted pictures of themselves without make-up on social media, raising awareness for a charity, earning praise for their fearlessness, and inspiring the men working at Harold’s Knife and Scissors factory to do something – and now their idea has gone viral under the hashtag #WeCanBeHeroes .
‘We don’t wear make-up, but we knew that if we had the guts to do it, we could look a proper mess showing our inner beauty if we didn’t shave or brush our teeth for a few days,’ said Ben Chobham who helped come up with the idea. ‘Then things just snowballed from there!’
Filed under Around Harold, charity, Lifestyle
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