The spirit was right, if not the geography.
Ed Miliband unveiled a more Caledonian tint to his shadow cabinet today, in an attempt to win back Scottish voters.
Ed McBalls, showing signs of recent gingering and speckled with crumbs of shortbread and scotch egg, has been ordered to ‘get up to Edinburgh’ and ‘go on about haggis or something’.
“I had the idea when the previous Balls gave me a christmas card with a tenner inside”, revealed Miliband. “That’s just enough to register a change of name at the deedpoll office.”
Ed McBalls was chosen for scottishisation because he has a lot in common with Alex Salmond. “His head is pale, round and damp-looking, and he doesn’t like eating vegetables”, revealed Miliband.”He seems angry all the time and he smiles when it’s most likely to cause annoyance.”
“And to cap it all, they’re both incredibly bad at maths.”
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