Labour advised to keep quiet about Ed Miliband

milibandhaventgotaclue

You really want to know? I haven’t got a clue.

A leaked Labour document which has been sent to some of the party’s MPs and activists, says they should deny all knowledge of Ed Miliband while out campaigning in the run up to the next election.It says the issue could be “unhelpful” and may risk losing votes.
The document suggests that that campaigners should use whatever diversionary tactics they can think of if anyone mentions the ‘M’ word.

It proposes using phrases such as ‘Labour has a sound and fully costed economic recovery plan’, ‘We believe that the government should focus on supporting hard working families’, ‘Isn’t the weather nice for this time of year’ and if all else fails shouting ‘ooh look, a badger’ and running away.

Meanwhile Mr Miliband’s campaign diary has been published and shows he has been tasked with 5 months of carrying out the most important duty of trying to convince the remote homesteads of Dartmoor, Shetland and the International Space Station of the benefits of voting Labour.

Rumours that the Labour Party are embarrassed by their leader’s public profile continue to circulate. Attempts by party officials to quash the claims were thwarted last week when thousands of party members received this year’s official party Christmas card depicting Andy Burnham successfully negotiating a rather tricky looking a bacon sandwich.

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