Restaurants urged to end boycott of plates

It fell off the roof so we thought we’d find a use for it. Not sure what happened to the fork, sorry about that.

It fell off the roof so we thought we’d find a use for it. Not sure what happened to the fork, sorry about that.

The general public has finally grown tired of having food served to them on a chopping board, or what looks suspiciously like a roof tile, and have pleaded with restaurants to get over whatever issue they have with plates and start using them again.

The last restaurant to serve a main course on traditional crockery did so in 2011 and since then it has been wooden blocks and building materials all the way. Customers are now pointing out that plates, specifically designed for serving food on, complete with handy curvature to stop the food falling off, do the job perfectly well. Some in the restaurant business are not convinced though. 

“This is a very competitive industry and you’ve got to do something to set yourself apart. Anybody can serve steak and chips on a plate, but it takes creativity to nail a rump steak to a piece of plywood, or to constantly come up with other new and inappropriate items to serve food on.” explained Simon Edwards, owner of the Saracens Head country pub and restaurant, while stuffing chips into a pint glass.

“Not using plates is almost as important as finding unnecessary adjectives to add to the description of menu items. Nobody wants egg and chips any more, but pan-fried free range hen’s egg and thick, hand-cut, triple cooked, skin-on chips served in a shoe has got to be worth fifteen quid of anybody’s money.”

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