Category Archives: Greek bail-out

HM Queen ‘to take back control of Parliament’

Taking back control of the steering wheel.
A new poll has revealed that most people would back HM Queen to have the final say on Brexit.

“It seems obvious that when we’re talking Sovereignty, the Monarch should be the final arbiter,” said landlord Eddie on behalf of Harold’s informal polling group IMHO.

The group meets regularly to discuss global issues while drinking alcohol. At last night’s meeting in the Squirrel Lickers Arms, chaired by landlord Eddie Grudgingly, IMHO voted overwhelmingly to back a motion in support of a Royal Prerogative on Brexit.

“After all, there’s a fair bit of German in her blood and the Duke’s quite Greek,” said Eddie, “so they have a better understanding of Europe than far-right loudmouths  in parts of Lincolnshire and the Tory Party.”

It was decided that a People’s Vote would be a waste of time, because everyone’s changed their minds, so the result would be the same as last time.

The group also supported a motion of praise for Prince Philip’s ability to survive an actual car crash much better than the Prime Minister fared in her metaphorical one.

“And the Duke,” said Eddie, winding up the debate, “is now single-handedly saving hundreds of jobs at Jaguar Land Rover with his recent order for a weekly fleet of new cars. He’s doing more for the British motor industry than Greg Clark and that’s a fact.”

As the meeting adjourned, members of the political focus group thanked Eddie for another well-organised piss-up in his pub, which everyone agreed was a rare talent these days.

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Filed under Around Harold, Brexit, Business, Europe, Greek bail-out, Politics, Royals

Holidaying in Greece? Don’t miss this handy Q&A!

greece riot

The cheap flights make it all worth while.

Harold’s very own armchair globe trotter, Elsie Duggan, offers advice to tourists heading to Greece. Just because she hasn’t been somewhere, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have an opinion.

Dear Elsie,

I’ve read that people in Greece are suffering real hardship. Can you catch poverty from touching a foreigner? C Clarkson, Harold

Elsie replies: I don’t doubt it. I knew someone once who touched a Hungarian by accident, and now they live in a skip. Take some wet wipes, and remember to rub yourself down with some money.

Dear Elsie,

There have been reports that shops are running out of some essentials. Will I still be able to buy chips? D Evans, Harold

Elsie replies: Bloody soggy things they’ll be no doubt, and not enough of them. And do you know what they have on them? Not gravy or ketchup like nice people. Crab spit. Maureen told me that, she said she read it in the paper.
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Filed under Greek bail-out, Holidays

UK lends Greece Nick Clegg, to help sell their sell-out


Nick hears the call

Greece’s Prime Minister has asked David Cameron for Nick Clegg on loan, as he prepares for a massive climb down on pledges which brought him election success.

The untried Greek government has no experience of being in power and wants a seasoned u-turner behind the scenes to help with excuses.

“Nick is going to be out of contract in May anyway” said Cameron “so we’re lending him out a couple of months early, for 30 hours a week, as a condition of his JSA payment.”

Meanwhile Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis said he would ‘work night and day until Monday’ to devise the list of reforms. “Except for the weekend, obviously. No-one works weekends in Greece.”

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Filed under Election 2015, Greek bail-out, International News, Politics