Two decades have passed since the nation was brought to a standstill by a very good example of why you should always wear a seat belt. Continue reading
Tag Archives: Princess Diana
The end of August currently seems to be a hundred years away for knackered tabloid journalists ordered to write as much Princess Diana related bobbins as possible day after day. Continue reading
Waitrose has run out of Duchy Originals Brake Grease, after the product was mentioned by the Queen.
Brake Grease is a guilt-free ‘miracle’ oil, which can reduce friction and princesses in busy households. Once the preserve of nobility, in ancient times it was known as ‘the fat of the landed’.
Prince Charles insists that all Duchy-brand products are organic. “One’s brake grease is sustainable, but completely untraceable”, he revealed. Continue reading
Omnipotent Christian deity God has spent the day changing some faces in his cabinet in the first reshuffle for over 2000 years. Many involved are household names and the shake up is seen as significant on earth as it is in heaven.
The big loser is God’s long time wing man Jesus of Nazareth, whose coveted position of ‘sitting at the right hand of God’ has gone to Princess Diana. The heavenly father has recently faced fresh accusations of nepotism as well as a failure to represent females in positions of power, and has seemingly smote two birds with one stone.
As following a Crimewatch appeal police detectives work towards hopefully making a major breakthrough in the Madeleine McCann disappearance case a British tabloid has spoken of its longing for the search for the missing nine year old to continue indefinitely.
“We are absolutely desperate for no news,” said Daily Express insider Nicola Simmonds. “We put something about Madeleine McCann on the front page every day. If the case concludes we’ll be buggered.” Continue reading