Truly, they are the best of us
Annoyed by Hillary Clinton’s success in the primaries making her and Bill the ultimate power couple, Cherie Blair has announced that she will become Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
“Of course it’s a done deal,” she snapped at reporters. “Deals is how Tony and I do everything. Massive bungs from dictators across the globe, ta very muchly.” Continue reading
The pig at the centre of the David Cameron scandal has broken her silence in an exclusive kiss and squeal interview.
Under the alias ‘Margaret’ she said that she wanted to get things straight, “Something Mr Cameron had no trouble doing in his student days”.
Boris acquired his mad throwing skillz hurling food and plates around restaurants during his Buillingdon Club days
Boris Johnson is ditching his buffoonish persona and changing his image from the love child of the late Sir Patrick Moore and a long-haired guinea pig with a brain injury to that of a normalish human being in a bid to become PM.
“Voters will see a huge difference,” the London Mayor told journalists. “I had a lot of fun pretending to be an idiot who couldn’t keep a thought in his head or his dick in his pants but now it’s time to show that I can lead this country.” Continue reading
He can see his ears without looking in a mirror
Hapless character in a crap sitcom come to life, Ed Miliband, will give a speech at London University today listing the reasons why he should be Prime Minister. The Evening Harold has managed to obtain a copy of the speech – a nice old man called Alan J-something gave it to us with a smile and a hearty wink – and can now exclusively reveal the top ten reasons Ed Miliband believes he is the right person to lead the UK. Continue reading
His real police mugshot. Arrest, it is a happy business.
There were tears across the globe this morning when news leaked that Justin Bieber’s plea bargain defence for illegal street racing will be accepted. Meaning that the half-man half-hair moussed jackal is free to continue his spree of crimes against music. Continue reading