Tag Archives: Disney

NHS team up with Disney World for tips on queue management

NHS trusts in the UK have teamed up with U.S. based Disneyworld consultants to help manage increasing pressures on hospital queue targets.
Heading up the Disney team is Roy Peterson Jr, whose overarching strategy is clear: ”Who on earth would want to reduce queues? That’s where your quaint little doctors and nurses game has gone wrong – it’s all about optimising the size of the queue and then keeping people distracted whilst they are waiting – easy”. He went on “And FREE at the point of service? that stinks, we’ll be introducing a new smart wristband in the Autumn, one easy fee for up to 3 extra treatments per month”. Continue reading

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Outrage at Star Wars Audi product placement

millennium falcon3

It might be cramped, but you can always pop your dog on the passenger seat.

Fans of the much-anticipated ‘Star Wars – The Force Awakens’ have reacted angrily to the Millennium Falcon being branded an Audi.

With spiralling costs and an increase in video piracy, Disney claim they were ‘forced’ to seek income from the dark side.

“Product placement has been criticised in the past, but Audi is a natural brand to complement the Star Wars product”, said Disney’s Bob Taeft. “They chose the Millennium Falcon because it’s grey, doesn’t have indicators, but can do the Kessel run on half a tank of unleaded.”
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Passportless British family claim asylum in Disneyland

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Family will flee to Universal Studios in future.

A family from Harold has spoken of their desperate journey to Disneyland, after their passports were processed a bit slowly.

With time running out fast for the Smiths, dad Michael feared they may be forced to seek holiday in Norfolk. He wasn’t prepared to subject his two children to such a fate.

“We’d done everything right”, claimed Michael. “There was a good 16 hours to go until the ferry left at the point when I filled in the passport application forms. Then I popped them on the mantelpiece for Linda to take to the post office. And yet somehow, they still haven’t bloody arrived.”
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Disneylogians hail discovery of ritual, horse-shoed mouse fossils

This totes really happened. Trufax.

This totes really happened. Trufax.

Leading Disney theologians have spoken of their excitement, following the discovery of the fossilized remains of four tiny mice. Crescent-shaped ore deposits hint at feet shod with horse-shoes, the strongest evidence yet that Cinderella actually existed.

The discovery was made by 46 year-old Walter Higgins, using a metal detector on an allotment in a far-away land. The exact location of the ‘magic kingdom’ is a closely guarded secret, although Higgins is known to own a static caravan in Rhyll. Continue reading

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