Tag Archives: ps4

Sudan famine victims ‘may not survive another night with no PlayStation Network’

sudan-famineDisaster relief experts have warned that the thousands of displaced famine victims in war-torn South Sudan ‘may not survive’ another night with no access to Sony’s PlayStation Network (PSN).

PSN is essential to access the extended capabilities of PlayStation games, such as online multiplayer modes and other network functions, but many people do not realise the main hardship facing video game fans in the stricken region.

“There are families who have lost everything to war and hunger,” explained Red Cross spokesman Barry Ping. “Basic essentials like Facebook and cable TV. For these people, keeping their children entertained while the relief effort is coordinated is proving very difficult.”

“Many of these families will have purchased a new PlayStation for Christmas, in the belief that it would keep everyone quiet for a bit. But tragically you can’t even start the thing up without network activation, which is impossible with PSN down. I’ve seen whole villages literally devastated.”

“This has spoiled our whole post-Christmas famine experience,” complained refugee and mother of four Talia Nafisa. “We were all set to fire up the new PS4 and play FIFA 15 until the food parcels arrived, and we can’t even log on. I think we should be compensated.” Continue reading

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Filed under Christmas, International News

Workplaces empty as thousands call in sick with Titanfall plague

rsz_titanfall-wide

We have no idea what’s going on there but we’re sure it’s more exciting than an inter-department strategy meeting.

Workplaces across the country are empty or severely understaffed this morning as hundreds of thousands of people have called in sick with Titanfall plague. Continue reading

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Filed under Entertainment, Technology

Microsoft admits new Xbox is ‘made of cheese’

xboxcheese

Agreeably sophisticated gaming. With cheese.

Following a number of reports on internet forums, Microsoft has admitted that ‘a small number’ of its new Xbox One system are showing signs of being unexpectedly made of cheese.

Early adopters of the next-generation games console have been experiencing problems where consoles are overheating, refusing to load game discs, or, in extreme cases, exuding a sickly-sweet milky odour and oozing with the mammalian stomach enzyme rennet (often used in the production of cheese). Continue reading

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Filed under Food, Technology