Tag Archives: pie

The evidence! Ten damning facts about Harriet Harman’s dark past

HHMore startling evidence has emerged of Harriet Harman’s links to the notorious Paedophile Information Exchange. After several minutes’ investigation, the Evening Harold has come up with ten facts that the Deputy Labour Leader will struggle to deny.

1. Harriet Harman lives in London which is full of paedophiles. She is bound to have walked past one in the street or worse sat next to one on public transport. Try denying that one!

2. Harriet Harman is an MP and they are all dodgy in one way or another.

3. Even more damning, she represents Peckham in Parliament. We all know Peckham is a full of criminals. You only have to watch old episodes of “Only Fools and Horses” for evidence.

4. Harriet Harman has been linked to PIEs since a steak and kidney one baked by her grandmother in 1954. Continue reading

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Boris pushes ‘Drug Rooms’ for pies

medical pie

Take twice before meals

Whilst Durham’s Police and Crime Commissioner is assessing drug consumption rooms, where addicts may safely inject, Boris Johnson thinks their remit might be extended to include pies.

London’s Mayor has studied a summary of a half-page article about research in Denmark, where they already run drug rooms and he believes the model might work here too.

Johnson says the experiment in Copenhagen has helped clean up streets from take-away food wrappers.

“Gluttons are good for business and good for London, in the same way as compulsive gamblers and alcoholics. But we want gluttons to access pies in a safe environment so they’re not committing crimes against decency; say munching a pasty in the dole queue without using a serviette, then dropping the greasy bag on the floor.”
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