People in the UK and around the world are said to be ‘disappointed’ to learn that the headline ‘One Direction caned’ wasn’t what they thought.
“I was disgusted when I found out they had been smoking a bit of dope,” one upset music fan told us.
“I was hoping there were caned as a punishment for the crap songs the have inflicted on the world.
Comments Off on Disappointment as people realise ‘One Direction caned’ wasn’t a punishment
Filed under breaking news, Law and Order, News
Apparently only one of these people wilfully refuses to listen to any opposing views for comedic effect.
Ahead of a Panorama documentary to be broadcast tonight which will show that the charity Comic Relief has invested tens of millions of pounds in arms, alcohol and tobacco companies one prominent recipient of Comic Relief’s largesse has leapt to its defence.
The warlord known as Tony B has says that he got a lot out of his association with the red nose. Continue reading
Comments Off on Comic Relief scandal: warlord leaps to charity’s defence
Filed under News, Showbusiness
Sorry, wrong book. It’s difficult to keep up.
One Direction singer, Harry Styles, has today released his 23rd autobiography since finding fame on the X Factor five years ago. “What I’ve done since last Thursday” promises to be the most revealing book since his last one, which was released two weeks earlier.
“This is me, by me, in my own words. Well, somebody else’s words, I didn’t actually do the writing. But I told him stuff and I fully endorse it and will be getting most of the money from it.” confirmed Styles, “This book lets people have a real insight into my world over the last week, and reveals things like why I chose what I did for dinner on Friday.” Continue reading
Comments Off on Harry Styles releases new autobiography “What I’ve done since last Thursday”
Filed under News
Harold authorities are planning a radical overhaul of crime and anti-social behaviour prevention techniques. In light of the Prime Minister’s recently announced plans to tackle on-line perverts by asking them if they wish to access porn before they access porn, Councillor Ron Ronsson has unveiled plans to replicate the strategy in a number of other areas.
In retail, shoppers visiting the Tesco Express on the high street will be asked when entering the store if they require access to alcohol and tobacco. Councillor Ronsson assures us he is almost certain someone somewhere has done a study to show this will reduce sales of these potentially harmful products. And Julie , owner of ‘Cuts Both Ways’, will be checking with all her customers that they want access to potentially sharp instruments before they are allowed entry to her scissor emporium.
You must be logged in to post a comment.