Ahead of a Panorama documentary to be broadcast tonight which will show that the charity Comic Relief has invested tens of millions of pounds in arms, alcohol and tobacco companies one prominent recipient of Comic Relief’s largesse has leapt to its defence.
The warlord known as Tony B has says that he got a lot out of his association with the red nose.
“Oh yeah, absolutely,’ he tells us from the plush central London offices of the Tony Blair Faith Foundation. “I think I’m a pretty straight sort of guy so I don’t mind admitting that in 2007 I had a real public image problem. Everywhere I went it was war criminal this and dodgy dossier that. I desperately needed help and that’s when Comic Relief stepped in.”
“The charity prides itself on its ability to change lives for the better in the UK and in Africa and that’s exactly what happened for me. They gave me a slot on their main telethon and allowed me to crack jokes in front of millions without being asked any unwelcome questions. A quick bit of ‘Am I bovvered?’ later and I was number one again and as popular as you like. Thanks Comic Relief, I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Perhaps even more damningly evidence has emerged that earlier this year Comic Relief threw its support behind an unelected leader whose regime has brought about a rise in poverty and social division resulting in a poorer quality of life for millions. However most people polled said what really wound them up wasn’t seeing David Cameron skipping about trying to be jolly but the fact that Comic Relief let One Direction butcher not one but two classic songs to provide a soundtrack while he did.