Tag Archives: closet

Cliff finally comes out of the closet

Cliff closet

Cliff chose the popular IKEA ‘Syndrome’ wardrobe, which is made in Stockholm.

Harold’s very own magician and illusionist Cliff Platt has finally emerged from his latest David Blaine-style feat of endurance, having spent the last 79 days in a closet.

Cliff exited his self imposed incarceration to loud applause from his publicist, looking gaunt, weary, and smelling of his own faeces.

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Filed under Showbusiness

Ukip candidates emptying ‘skeletons from closets’: museums expecting influx of artifacts

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Even Farage's pets had skeletons in their closets

With potential Ukip members now being asked to make sure they have no ‘skeletons in their closets’, museums up and down the UK are preparing for an unprecedented amount of new artifacts to display.

The new rules for potential candidates includes declarations such as “I have never been engaged in… racist activity”, “I do not have any skeletons in the cupboard”, and “I have never, in any way, acted like Godfrey Bloom”.

This move by the party has led to the hurried emptying of closets that has left the Harold Natural History Museum inundated with artifacts to add to its otherwise mundane collection.

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Filed under Culture, News, Politics