Tag Archives: Cliff

Brexit invoice ‘to be forwarded to David Cameron’

Hammond slips the bill into Cameron’s pocket.

Tory Chancellor Philip Hammond may be dreaming up secret plans to get former PM and Chief Engineer of National Division David Cameron to cough up for his treachery and pay the Brexit Bill in full on behalf of the UK people.

“It’s all very well Cameron saying Oh sorry, that didn’t go to plan, byeee,” Hammond told Mrs May, “but he still has to take his share of the responsibility, which is…” pausing to consult his calculator, “one hundred percent of it.”

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Filed under Brexit, Economy, EU referendum

Cliff finally comes out of the closet

Cliff closet

Cliff chose the popular IKEA ‘Syndrome’ wardrobe, which is made in Stockholm.

Harold’s very own magician and illusionist Cliff Platt has finally emerged from his latest David Blaine-style feat of endurance, having spent the last 79 days in a closet.

Cliff exited his self imposed incarceration to loud applause from his publicist, looking gaunt, weary, and smelling of his own faeces.

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Filed under Showbusiness