World War Three is back on hold after Putin put a smiley face on Mrs May’s newsfeed.
“The Prime Minister acknowledged that the smiley was a very sweet gesture in response to her earlier full-on rant in Parliament,” said a Downing Street spokesperson.
“There’s no doubt Putin misbehaved and Mrs May was fully within her rights to threaten him with the naughty step. But she was totally disarmed when the happy face popped up on her phone.” Continue reading
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Filed under Conspiracy, Defence, Facebook, Social media
Public would now accept the death of three national treasures to escape referendum debate on Facebook
As sad as it was to lose Bowie, Rickman, Wogan and Wood, there was a sense of gladness for having known them and their work which is completely absent from the current onslaught of unadulterated misery.
And as a bewildering bonfire of hatred and rage threatens to engulf their Facebook timelines, people are longing for a return to the simple times when all they had to do was tweet about how sad they are that a singer has died.
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Filed under 29/9 attrocities, breaking news, Entertainment, EU referendum, Europe, Facebook, Law and Order, News, Nostalgia, Obituary, Showbusiness, Social media, Society, USA
Just an ordinary taxpayer.
Millions of people were celebrating last night after hearing the news that Jeremy Corbyn was fined £100 for a late Tax Return.
“Unlike Cameron, Corbyn only had one box to fill in,” said a tax expert, “but he despises all aspects of capitalism and fascist tax collectors in particular and basically couldn’t give a monkey’s nuts about their deadlines. The man is Legend.”
“He had from early April until the end of the following January to submit his Tax Return,” explained local accountant Geoffrey King. “It’s a remarkable level of procrastination, normally only achievable by ordinary, hard-working people. No wonder his popularity is on the increase.”
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Filed under Around Harold, breaking news, Facebook, Labour, News, Politics, Social media
Twofer: Mister Superpaws, a baby cat
Cats and babies have beaten runners posting their mileage, selfies, humblebrags, motivational quotes, cryptic attention seekers – “Sigh. This is the worst” – pictures of food, game requests, and political/religious rants to meet in the grand final of a contest to determine the most boring subject for a Facebook status.
In the semi-finals, cats comfortably saw off ‘99% of you won’t have the courage to repost this‘ whines while babies kicked constantly posting about your health to the kerb. Now these two titans of yawn are to be pitted against each other. Continue reading
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Filed under Facebook
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