The first bearded shadow front bench MP since Ann Widdecombe.
In a bid to kick UK political stability firmly in the nuts while the country tries to recover from an unusually bad bout of stupid; the Parliamentary Labour Party has decided that it can’t allow Jeremy Corbyn to remain as its most popular leader in a generation.
“There’s no room for selfless demonstrations of moral integrity in the modern Labour Party” said former shadow foreign secretary and twatfumbling cumblanket Hilary Benn.
“Clearly people who aren’t us can’t be trusted to make big decisions. This country needs firm, honest, principled leaders to carry us through the troubled times ahead. And we’re determined it won’t get them.”
As electricity companies around the country start investigating ways to utilise the energy being produced by Mr Benn’s late father spinning ever more feverishly in his grave, the Coxit campaign is preapring to wheel out its big guns by utilising the ever successful ‘Blair Effect’.
Mr Corbyn’s supporters while playing down the issue in public, are however secretly worried by these latest developments. As one insider put it “If Tony Blair pledges his support for Jeremy then we really are fucked”.
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