Workplaces across the country are empty or severely understaffed this morning as hundreds of thousands of people have called in sick with Titanfall plague. Continue reading
Tag Archives: Xbox One
Following a number of reports on internet forums, Microsoft has admitted that ‘a small number’ of its new Xbox One system are showing signs of being unexpectedly made of cheese.
Early adopters of the next-generation games console have been experiencing problems where consoles are overheating, refusing to load game discs, or, in extreme cases, exuding a sickly-sweet milky odour and oozing with the mammalian stomach enzyme rennet (often used in the production of cheese). Continue reading
Following its disastrous launch earlier in the year when fans were up in arms over the fact that the new Xbox would have to be always connected to the Internet, then the further revelation that it was not designed to support vertical orientation, Microsoft have finally admitted that their newest toy won’t actually play games either.
“We worked hard to give our customers the best experience with this next generation console,” said Microsoft spokesperson Dale Tice. “But at the end of the day the technology just isn’t in place for us deliver and so with a heavy heart we’re taking the gaming component out of the Xbox One.” Continue reading