The Duchess of Cambridge has spent the first day of her official trip to Australia continuing to quash the rumours that she may be pregnant.
The rumours started when she was handed a baby shawl from a well wisher and when thanking them said “you may need to make another one soon, we are at it like inbreds”.
After a brief wine tasting session failed to dispel talk of pregnancy, she decided to use being in Australia as an opportunity to get absolutely rat-arsed and completely let herself go, just to prove a point. Continue reading
Young royals warned not to sheikh the baby
Following today’s launch of ‘The Sun’s royal baby monitor’, a live camera feed from outside St Mary’s Hospital, the News Group (formally News International) paper has announced how they are going to use their unique reporting methods to bring unrivalled access to the royal birth.
“Great reporters, amazing technology, and dubious moral values mean we can bring you the royal birth from the first contraction right through to long lens picture of the royal baby’s first suckle” editor David Dinsmore told readers. Continue reading
Lula-Belle is currently on vacation in the Maldives.
After the death of local businessman Brendon McDonald in March of this year, many villagers assumed that his estate would bequeath the bulk of Mr McDonald’s wealth to his son and daughter-in-law, but details of his will published today tell a very different story.
In his will, Mr McDonald repeatedly refers to his daughter-in-law of 36 years as ‘A gold digging tart’, who, he claimed, ‘only married my feckless, gullible son for his future wealth’. Close friends of McDonald confirm that he died unshaken in his belief that his son’s wife was little more than a cheap floozie who had nothing better to do in life that wait for her husband’s inheritance.