The government has today announced the electrification of the M1 between London and Sheffield. Transport Minister Patrick McLoughlin also explained many other upgrades to the route that will see safety increased, including bumpers around the edge of the carriageway.
The electricity needed for vehicles to run will be supplied via a mesh running along the length of the route with a pole extending from the back of the car connecting it to the national grid. “Essentially we are going to invest billions of pounds in the world’s longest bumper car course” Mr McLoughlin told reporters. “This will of course become a toll road. You pay your £2.50 per person at the toll booth in exchange for a token to get your car going.”
The Scouts, Territorial and Salvation Armies have been stood down in Harold after experts confirmed it was the heavy winds that blew 11 recycling boxes in to the middle of the road, and it was not the start of an Eco-invasion.
“The alarm was raised at 5am this morning during the storm,” PC Flegg told us. “We had calls from several concerned residents who say the recycling boxes were taking up ‘a combat position’ in the middle of the road.
Following the ‘great breeze’ of 2013, the government has taken the opportunity to use the travel disruption to push forward some of the benefits of HS2, claiming the carriages of the high-speed trains will have the ability to jump over fallen trees.