“Another prick and a wall”
Brexiters believe the UK voting to leave the EU is nothing like Scotland voting to leave the UK.
“You simply can’t compare people wanting to regain sovereignty with other people wanting to regain their sovereignty. Any fool can see they’re not the same thing at all.” said Jacob Rees-Mogg Continue reading
Sturgeon checks if May is a Freemason
Theresa May says she is “willing to listen to options” on Scotland’s relationship with the EU as long as Nicola Sturgeon understands she won’t actually be doing anything about it or changing her mind.
Indeed, so as to avoid any misunderstanding, the PM insisted that Sturgeon tick a box agreeing to May’s terms and conditions, before she’d let discussions begin.
Filed under News, Politics
Kim Jong Un has been the first international leader to congratulate Nicola Sturgeon on her party’s success in Scotland in the General Election.
Following the type of victory in one country normally reserved for dictatorships, Mr Kim has said he was impressed at the lack of purging of political opponents involved in her landslide.
“I can’t help but get a general who fears for his life to take my hat off to her”, the North Korean leader said.
Labour’s top mathematician has been accused of editing the wikipedia entry for Nicola Sturgeon, after his name was spotted in several places on her page.
The shadow chancellor admitted to perusing her slot, but only to find out if she’d said anything nice about him.
“I was reading her entry, trying to find out if she likes me, when I suddenly found myself in a ‘text altering’ situation”, said Balls.
“Obviously, this was in between some routine searches for my own name in Google, and I think somewhere along the line, that search engine screwed up.”
Nicola Sturgeon says the SNP will be a positive influence in a Coalition government with Labour, and she will breastfeed and toilet Ed Miliband until he is old enough to start taking care of himself.
“The Tories can scare-monger all they like but what could be more natural than Ed suckling from my left nipple while we form policy? It is certainly better than some tired old formula” said a glowing Sturgeon.