Tag Archives: eveningharold

New Star Wars movie to feature first male Wookiee

We would.

Producers of the upcoming Star Wars film have shocked moviegoers with the news that, unlike in all the previous episodes, the next generation of the Wookiee character in The Last Jedi will be male.

Some have seen this as a brave move, given that the iconic “Chewie” character was, of course, a girl, with the typical female Wookiee’s menacing grunt, but many fans are disappointed that the producers have changed what was seen as a well-established tradition.

“I’m not sexist, but this is just inverse political correctness gone mad,” complained one fan. “Everyone knows Chewie was a girl. And good-looking. Er, for a Wookiee.”

“Well that’s my childhood ruined,” complained another fan. “Nowhere in the original movies does it say anywhere that Wookiees can be male. Some things you don’t mess with.”

“What next, a male R2-D2?”

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Tommy Robinson jailed for fraudulently claiming not to be racist.

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Robinson realised his mistake as soon as he said he was not racist

Ex-EDL leader Tommy Robinson had been jailed for 18 months for fraudulently claiming he was not racist. He made the claims in October when he left the EDL citing his concerns over the ‘dangers of far-right extremism’.

Robinson pleaded guilty to the charge and told the court that looking back he could see he was actually fooling nobody. “The trouble with fraud is that you have to convince people you are something you are not,” Robinson told the court.

“In hindsight I may have had more luck convincing people I had to leave because I was pregnant than asking them to believe I was no longer a bigot.”

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Residents taught to ‘spot an illegal’ as part of operation ‘you talk funny’

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The village of Harold is to have all its residents trained to spot illegal immigrants in a trial to work alongside government plans to get banks, landlords and milkmen to check the status of all their customers.

Minister of State for Immigration, Mark Harper MP said: “It is good to see people taking the initiative and fighting the problem of foreigners without relying on proper border controls.
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Filed under International News, News, Politics

Mechanics ‘delighted’ with new Travelodge recommendation

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Following years of being ranked by mechanics from The AA and RAC, hotel group Travelodge have decided to start ranking Motor Garages. A maximum of 5 stars can be achieved as mechanics are judged on their customer service, ability to resist sighing during an examination, and the inappropriate positioning of a Page 3 calendar.
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Do you want a vegetable-free diet? Try all new ‘PorQu’

The UK's finest Vegetable substitute

The UK’s finest Vegetable substitute

Are you having trouble convincing your children to eat their vegetables? Are you a carnivore that struggles to get your recommended daily amount of meat? Are you just looking for a way to improve your evening meal? Then why not try PorQu.

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Filed under Culture, Health, Lifestyle

Picture special: Archbishop denies conflict of interest at Churches first credit union meeting

Welby thought it best not to bring his ceremonial crook, or Earl as he is known

Welby thought it best not to bring his ceremonial crook, or Earl as he is known

As you would expect, the meeting of the Churches first credit union meeting in Harold created a huge amount of interest.

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by | July 26, 2013 · 1:36 pm