“We were really looking for the better-looking, Caucasian types”
The UK has agreed to accept some more refugee children but only those who are photogenic, or otherwise ‘cute’.
“Ugly kids bring more sympathy, and frankly they stand out too much.” lied Theresa May “We were really looking for the better-looking, Caucasian types, if you will, ‘paler’ and with blue eyes if possible.”
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In hindsight, the daily cleaning of graffiti on the house should have been a clue
In the light of immigration minister Mark Harper resigning his position after it emerged he employed a cleaner who did not have permission to work in the UK, a separate incident has seen a foreign-born cleaner leaving their post after it emerged their employer was a Tory.
The cleaner has apologised for not carrying out reasonable checks on the person whose house they clean and said that although they had been a British citizen for the last 13 years, being from another country means they should have checked their employer was not, in fact, a Tory.
With the Home Office deciding not to continue using the immigration ‘go home’ vans, some Spanish resorts have shown an interest in purchasing them.
“A van with the basic message of ‘go home foreigner’ will do well here” the Mayor of Magaluf said.
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The village of Harold is to have all its residents trained to spot illegal immigrants in a trial to work alongside government plans to get banks, landlords and milkmen to check the status of all their customers.
Minister of State for Immigration, Mark Harper MP said: “It is good to see people taking the initiative and fighting the problem of foreigners without relying on proper border controls.
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