Executives at Channel 4 have reacted with ‘suspicion’ to the announcement that the BBC is to launch a new cookery competition featuring Mary Berry, Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc.
Called the ‘Bake British Great Off’, details of the new show are being kept tightly under wraps by the BBC, but it is believed that members of the public will compete to bake cakes in a tent.
“On the face of it, this does sound rather similar to the thing we thought we’d just bought,” admitted Channel 4 boss Jay Hunt. “They have all the same people, baking cakes, in a tent. Even the name seems familiar. We may have missed a trick here.”
Hit BBC show the Great British Bake Off has become the latest victim of weapon-toting dentist Walter Palmer. The blood lustin’ American burst onto the set and shot the amazing lion bread created by contestant Paul Jagger several times with a bow and arrow.
“I had to,” Palmer said. “I’m a hunter and that there bread lion was too beautiful to exist. I wanted him dead. That’s how you show the ultimate respect for bread, and for nature. You shoot it and put it in your special trophy room so no one can see it but you.” Continue reading
A grateful peasant salivates over his new home
The Princess Royal has weighed into the planning row by calling for new village homes to be made from gingerbread so struggling villagers can always have something to eat.
Her Royal Highness said she was concerned that the migration of village populations to towns and cities would destroy traditional feudal values leaving servantless. “It’s vital that we plan for the future,” she insisted at a planning symposium organised by her big brother Charles. “At current rates, it is entirely possible that there won’t be enough peasants to skivvy in one’s country estate within five years.” Continue reading