Journalists strongly advised not to ask too many questions
FIFA were caught up in further controversy today following their decision to strip the hosting of the 2022 World Cup from Qatar and instead award it to Sicily.
Critics are claiming that the new vote was, if anything, even more corrupt than the original process that saw the World Cup awarded to Qatar. These claims have been strenuously denied by Matteo Messina Denaro, who headed up the Sicily 2022 bid. Continue reading
With the results of an investigation showing corruption in FIFA led to the awarding of the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, The Sunday Times have become this year’s favourites to scoop the ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ award for journalism.
The award is given to stories that use investigations, evidence, and concrete proof to end up with a shocking revelation that most people thought was already fact, leading them to say ‘no shit, Sherlock’.
Previous winners of the award include The Daily Telegraph with their discovery in 2009 that MPs were dishonest.
The village of Harold has stepped into the row about Qatar holding the 2022 World Cup by telling FIFA the village is ready to hold the competition should they need to change host.
“We already have the infrastructure in place” councillor Ronsson said. “And although like Qatar most of it was build using slave labour, ours was built a long time ago when slavery was acceptable so is actually of historical interest.”
Putting Harold’s case forward to take on the World Cup, Ronsson also pointed out several other advantages of holding it in the village instead of Qatar.
“We won’t need air conditioned stadiums as temperatures in Bedfordshire have never gone above 18.7C. We also have the Squirrel Licker Arms. Like many premises in Qatar it doesn’t have an alcohol license, but we have proudly turned a blind eye to that since 1984.”
The one concern levelled at village is the quality and quantity of stadia. Ronsson admitted that Harold Thursday’s ground was the biggest, holding up to 267 spectators. However he has said that can be increased to 534 if supporters are willing to sit on each other’s laps, something else that is allowed in Harold but frowned on in Qatar.
“For less important games we can convert the village green with some pop-up goals from Argos.”
Ronsson has said he thinks Harold’s bid should be enough to convince FIFA to move the tournament as it was delivered in a brown envelope with £1.3m in used notes.
He also noted that compared Qatar, any game played in Harold that goes to a ‘penalty shoot-out’ was less likely to involve a firing squad, a fact that should see the England team sleep a little better.
Managers will have to dig their own dug outs
Stung by accusations of incompetence following the decision to play the 2022 World Cup Finals in the desert heat of Qatar, FIFA have responded by awarding the 2026 Finals to Antarctica.
“We’ve learnt our lessons from the Qatar debacle”, insisted Sepp Blatter, “so to avoid the higher temperatures of the summer months, the Antarctican matches will be played in the winter.” Continue reading