Journalists strongly advised not to ask too many questions
FIFA were caught up in further controversy today following their decision to strip the hosting of the 2022 World Cup from Qatar and instead award it to Sicily.
Critics are claiming that the new vote was, if anything, even more corrupt than the original process that saw the World Cup awarded to Qatar. These claims have been strenuously denied by Matteo Messina Denaro, who headed up the Sicily 2022 bid.
“I have no idea where these allegations have come from and can categorically say that no money has changed hands whatsoever during this process. The important thing to remember is that the 2022 World Cup will now be held in Sicily and Mr Blatter’s family are alive and well. For now.” said Messina Denaro, also known as Diabolik,
The lack of suitable stadia could present a challenge for organisers, but FIFA have not ruled out changing the format slightly to allow the tournament to go ahead.
“We had some issues with Qatar where it was felt that the summer heat would make things difficult, so we looked at changing the timing to play it in winter.” explained Sepp Blatter, “Now people are saying that you cannot possibly play all the matches at just one stadium and that there is not space in Sicily to build more. So we are considering making the 2022 World Cup a 5-a-side tournament. That way we can have up to four matches happening simultaneously in one stadium, by dividing the pitch into four.”
“There have also been concerns raised that Sicily could be a dangerous place for travelling fans, but Mr Messina Denaro has said that he can absolutely guarantee the personal safety of anybody wishing to come to the World Cup. For a modest fee of course.”
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