Tag Archives: corruption

Banks to look into FIFA accounts, looking for tips

imageBritish banks are to have in depth investigations in suspicious FIFA account to see if there is anything they can learn.

A spokesman for Barclays said: “It is looking like FIFA may have had some dodgy dealings happening through their accounts for the last 25 years. That’s impressive in anyone books, and we know about dodgy books. Continue reading

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Karma, police: no alarms and no surprises as police that guard royals and politicians turn out to be bent

Gun-cop

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes – quick the custard has ipsos in it

In the last five years over sixty Met police officers in the diplomatic protection squad which guard politicians and royals, yes even Prince Edward, have been done for misconduct.

“It’s weird,” said Assistant Commissioner Mark Rowley. “It’s almost as if when you tell someone they’re superior to the rest of us and allow them to stay in a privileged position unchallenged and pretty much unaccountable for years that they will start to abuse their power more or less by default. And some of the officers guarding these arseholes have behaved quite badly too.” Continue reading

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Award of 2022 World Cup to Sicily “not due to corruption” says Mafia Don

Journalists strongly advised not to ask too many questions

Journalists strongly advised not to ask too many questions

FIFA were caught up in further controversy today following their decision to strip the hosting of the 2022 World Cup from Qatar and instead award it to Sicily.

Critics are claiming that the new vote was, if anything, even more corrupt than the original process that saw the World Cup awarded to Qatar. These claims have been strenuously denied by Matteo Messina Denaro, who headed up the Sicily 2022 bid. Continue reading

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Uncovering FIFA corruption sees The Sunday Times favourite for ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ award for journalism

20140601-074041-27641737.jpgWith the results of an investigation showing corruption in FIFA led to the awarding of the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, The Sunday Times have become this year’s favourites to scoop the ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ award for journalism.

The award is given to stories that use investigations, evidence, and concrete proof to end up with a shocking revelation that most people thought was already fact, leading them to say ‘no shit, Sherlock’.

Previous winners of the award include The Daily Telegraph with their discovery in 2009 that MPs were dishonest.
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FIFA to investigate Nigeria goalkeeper for ‘bringing corruption into disrepute’

20140529-094353-35033328.jpgFifa has announced it is to investigate Nigerian goalkeeper, Austin Ejide, after he appeared to throw the ball into his own net during a friendly game with Scotland. He is to be charged with being so blatant he ‘brought corruption into disrepute’.

Speaking from his penthouse suite in a five-star hotel in Qatar, Sepp Blatter said corruption in football was “a fine art that only a very few at the top can master.”

“The way he threw the ball into his own net was an embarrassment,” Blatter explained. “Even the referee disallowed it out of sympathy and to try and give him another go at it.”

“Russia and Qatar wouldn’t have World Cups if they had just given us brown envelopes in front of the cameras, would they?

“Ok, maybe they would but the point is they didn’t. They were much more subtle.”

It was not only the obvious attempt to throw the ball into his own goal that have brought corruption into disrepute during the game.

Suspicions were aroused when he stepped up to take a penalty. The Scotland players tried to tell him he should be attempting to save it but he was adamant he would score. And he would have, had he not still had his boot laces tied together.

His teammates appeared to be unhappy with his blatant attempts to throw the game.

Nigeria defender Azubuike Egwuekw said: “It was embarrassing. I told him to get a grip, but he said he couldn’t, especially not with all the butter he had spread on his gloves.

“Eventually though he changed them, calmed down and let me score a less suspicious own goal. He really could have let the team down.”

Blatter has said that should Austin Ejide be found guilty of bringing corruption into disrepute he will be banned from playing the sport and serving on the Fifa board in the future. Either that or a fine of 500,000USD in used notes delivered to Mr Blatter directly.

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