Village tells FIFA: ‘We’re ready to hold 2022 World Cup’


The village of Harold has stepped into the row about Qatar holding the 2022 World Cup by telling FIFA the village is ready to hold the competition should they need to change host.

“We already have the infrastructure in place” councillor Ronsson said. “And although like Qatar most of it was build using slave labour, ours was built a long time ago when slavery was acceptable so is actually of historical interest.”

Putting Harold’s case forward to take on the World Cup, Ronsson also pointed out several other advantages of holding it in the village instead of Qatar.

“We won’t need air conditioned stadiums as temperatures in Bedfordshire have never gone above 18.7C. We also have the Squirrel Licker Arms. Like many premises in Qatar it doesn’t have an alcohol license, but we have proudly turned a blind eye to that since 1984.”

The one concern levelled at village is the quality and quantity of stadia. Ronsson admitted that Harold Thursday’s ground was the biggest, holding up to 267 spectators. However he has said that can be increased to 534 if supporters are willing to sit on each other’s laps, something else that is allowed in Harold but frowned on in Qatar.

“For less important games we can convert the village green with some pop-up goals from Argos.”

Ronsson has said he thinks Harold’s bid should be enough to convince FIFA to move the tournament as it was delivered in a brown envelope with £1.3m in used notes.

He also noted that compared Qatar, any game played in Harold that goes to a ‘penalty shoot-out’ was less likely to involve a firing squad, a fact that should see the England team sleep a little better.

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