Larry the cat, 10 Downing Street’s failed rat-catcher, has hit back at reports that he is not liked claiming he never really liked the Camerons anyway.
“We are from totally different backgrounds” Larry told cat trade paper, ‘Meows of the World’. “He was born into a family of millionaires and had the best education money could buy. I, on the other paw, was abandoned in London as a kitten and then put up for adoption.”
“I find his view of lower-class pets like me abhorrent. He treats me like an animal and just because I came from a council estate, he assumes I must be good at killing.”
Larry has hit out at reports that he is failing in his duty as a rat-catcher. He claims he wasn’t employed to hunt rodents, but was brought in to government so Iain Duncan Smith had something to stroke in an attempt to look evil.
That idea was quickly stopped when, as he stroked me, he said he would ‘cut the welfare bill by one billion dollars’.
Larry has decided he would see out Cameron’s term in office, confident that he will not be PM after the next election. In the meantime though he had vowed to try and adapt to his new role.
“If Cameron want me to catch creepy, scary rodents then I will do. In fact only last week I managed to draw blood from Michael Gove’s leg.”