Tag Archives: shopping

Anyone who goes shopping today clearly hates themselves

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They have given up the glory of the animal for an eggnog latte and a set of DVDs

Doctors have determined that anyone who chooses to spend hours of the only life they’ll ever have walking slowly in and out of some shops on a Saturday this close to Christmas is medically riddled with self-loathing.

“There’s no other explanation,” local doctor Clive Evans told us. “Why would someone for whom everything is going well and who has a sunny and optimistic outlook decide to do this? The answer is that they wouldn’t. People who go shopping today are in urgent need of help.” Continue reading

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Filed under Christmas

Retailers prepare for another busy Christmas shopping day, Man Monday

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Garages expect their peak trading to be 7pm Christmas Eve

After Cyber Monday and Black Friday, two of the biggest shopping days online and on the High Street, shops and garages all over the UK are bracing themselves for Man Monday. The day, which this year falls just two days before Christmas, sees 90% of men start their Christmas shopping.

The British Retail Consortium say although this may not be the most profitable day of the shopping year, it is a great chance for them to get rid of the tat that didn’t sell before the Boxing Day sales.

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Filed under Business, Lifestyle, News

Aldi employ sheepdogs to ‘herd’ customers around their shops

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Discount supermarket, Aldi, has announced its plan to get customers in and out as quickly as possible in the run up to Christmas. From Thursday stores will employ sheepdogs to herd people around the stores and to the tills.

“We often see an increase in customers this time of year, and many are here for first time,” joint chief executive, Matthew Barnes said.

“We make no money from people standing around in the aisles or taking time to read the ingredients, so we have partially trained Bull Terriers to herd them round as quickly as possible.
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Filed under Food, News