Tesco have announced they are going to call in Prof. Brian Cox to investigate the appearance of a financial black hole in their finances.
He will be asked to explain in a ‘complicated physics’ way how £250m has seemingly disappeared from its profits forecast.
Speaking of the upcoming investigation, Tesco chief executive said: “It is important we explain how this black hole has occurred, and no one can make people pretend they understand black holes like Brian Cox.
Tesco have this morning announced a 6% fall in annual profits. They have explained to shareholders that the only reason for the fall is they have spent the last 12 months using the actual ingredients printed on packets.
“A year on from ‘lasagne-gate’ we are now required to use real beef in beef products, not the latest casualty of the 3:15 at Ascot,” said Philip Clarke, Tesco PLC’s Chief Executive.
“But that’s not all. Customers expectation are much higher than in previous years so all of our range has become more truthful, and that costs money. Continue reading
Filed under Business, News
Not wishing to be left behind in the daylight robbery business, British Gas has announced average price rises to its customers of 9.2%
Centrica, British Gas’s parent company said: “We regret having to increase prices, especially at this time of year, but we have very little control over external factors that help us deliver energy such as global prices of Champagne, an unstable caviar market and the ‘shareholders’ Christmas party’ venue’s payment terms of 100% up front.