British Gas blame 9.2% price rise on ‘Global Christmas Party Markets’


Not wishing to be left behind in the daylight robbery business, British Gas has announced average price rises to its customers of 9.2%

Centrica, British Gas’s parent company said: “We regret having to increase prices, especially at this time of year, but we have very little control over external factors that help us deliver energy such as global prices of Champagne, an unstable caviar market and the ‘shareholders’ Christmas party’ venue’s payment terms of 100% up front.

“Whilst we try our best to keep prices low for as long as possible, and understand many vulnerable people may go cold and even die this winter, it is a bit tight to put ‘bring your own bottle’ on a shareholder’s dinner invite.”

The move comes after SSE announced it was raising its prices by an average of 8.2%, a decision it now said was justified.

An SSE spokesperson said: “Our lower price rise shows that, compared to British Gas, the choice of having a smaller selection of canapés was done with the customer in mind.”

Energy Secretary Ed Davey admitted he is disappointed by British Gas’s decision, but said he fully understands the reasoning.

“Good quality food prices have risen substantially over the last twelve months, and I think the public understand this. You saw the outrage caused when it was revealed the chancellor had to pay £10 for a burger. People felt genuinely sorry for him”

“We understand that there may be fatalities as a result of this rise, but look on the bright side. With less people to keep warm, we may just be able to keep the lights on for everyone else.”

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