Tag Archives: postman. Pat

P45 Special Delivery for Pat

pat P45Royal Mail have sensationally sacked maybe their most popular postman Pat Clifton this afternoon. It follows a run of disciplinary actions in recent years since Mr Clifton was appointed head of Special Deliveries in and around the Greendale area.

Spokeswoman for Royal Mail Euphegenia Goggins said this afternoon: “It is with great regret that the company announces the contract of Pat Clifton has been terminated with immediate effect. Since taking on the role of special deliveries in September 2008 Pat has had been tasked with making 1,825 delivers under the Royal Mail Special Delivery premium next day guarantee service. Sadly he has lost or broken 1,819 of these. To be honest we started to think he was sabotaging his own deliveries, only to rescue them again thus appearing as a hero to the local folk.”

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Postman Pat ‘dismayed’ to be latest cartoon character privatised


Postman Pat has spoken of his dismay at being the last children’s TV character to be privatised. This latest selling off of a public owned service has seen residents in Greendale concerned that their friendly local postie may not be allowed to carry out tasks irrelevant to his job of posting letters and delivering parcels in the future.

Speaking from his disproportionate head, Pat said: “I have spent many years helping the local farmer catch his livestock, building tunnels for hedgehogs and saving the village’s kids from all sorts of trouble, all on work’s time.”
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