Citizens of countries represented at the NATO meeting in Wales have come up with a radical idea to protect themselves from the dangers of ISIS. They have requested a militarised ring of steel similar to the one protecting their leaders from a few protesters while they discuss the best way to protect their countries.
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Tag Archives: Isis
“How to protect us from ISIS? Give us your bloody security” public tell NATO leaders
Filed under International News, News
War on terrorism on hold whilst US hunts down source of Jennifer Laurence nude photos
White House aides have confirmed that any further response to the Isis Crisis has been postponed until the FBI, CIA and other intelligence agencies have apprehended the person responsible for the publication of nude photographs of celebrities without their permission.
“We appreciate that celebrities flaunt their flesh at any opportunity for the delight of their adoring public, but it’s an entirely different thing when this is done without permission and the celebrity is unable to receive payment,” said an official, “this threatens the entire basis of Western Civilisation, far more than the Islamic State which is miles away anyway.”
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Filed under News, Showbusiness
Jihadists take over refinery; introduce Lean Manufacturing and Flexible Working
Some have criticised Jihadist management techniques as ‘crude’.
Islamic insurgents who took over an oil refinery in Iraq are confident they ‘have what it takes’ to run the plant efficiently.
ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi addressed his associates, while clutching an AK-47 and a Six Sigma training manual.
“Allah Akbar, change management is great”, said al-Baghdadi. “This new agile way of working will value all partners equally, especially those infidels who have relevant engineering qualifications.”
Al-Baghdadi explained how his first initiative was to introduce a flat management structure. “I did this by entering the boardroom and gunning everyone down, and then leaving the bodies to lay on the floor. It was a frank but constructive meeting, we do not have a blame culture.”
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Filed under Business, International News, Religion
US ‘military advisers’ in Iraq lambasted for inappropriate dress
The only people less fond of peace than Tony Blair
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Filed under International News
Obama says US ships in Persian Gulf ‘not war starting, dolphin watching’
USS George H.W Bush. America has ten of these things. Bit greedy, no?
President Obama has denied ordering US Navy ships into the Persian Gulf for hostile reasons.
“Our ships, their thousands of armed personnel and countless drones and missiles, are not getting close to Iraq to start a conflict,” he told the American people in a televised address. “We are merely dolphin watching which is just lovely. Many other things are lovely including oil and massively lucrative reconstruction projects but they’re for another day. I pinky swear.” Continue reading
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