Theresa May’s attempts to organise a piss up in a brewery has entered its four year, but still looks some way off actually happening.
The piss up was supposed to celebrate her party’s election success in 2010. “I didn’t want anything too complicated, just a few drinks in a place where drink would be readily available,” the prime minister explained.
However the apparently simple task got off to a bad start when May appointed Gordon Brown to arrange the party.
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In an attempt to continue on the road to redemption, disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong has vowed to testify with ‘100% transparency and honesty’ to any doping inquiry. And to ensure he is on top evidence giving form, he will also be high as a kite.
“I want to make sure that I give these inquiries my best performance for the good of the sport” Armstrong told reporters. “To make sure I give them 100%, I have already started a programme of blood doping. It’s only fair.”
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