Tag Archives: Alastair Campbell

Chilcot report leaked: Blair to be exonerated and given a pony


Happy happy joy joy

The Chilcot Report has been leaked ahead of its publication on Wednesday and contains devastating news for anyone incapable of thinking ‘Tony Blair’ without adding ‘should be in the dock at the Hague’.

The little friend of all the world especially dictators and Bono has been fully exonerated over the UK’s involvement in the Iraq War with Sir John Chilcot concluding that Blair has never even heard of the country or of weapons of mass destruction and that Alastair Campbell never existed in the first place. The report ends with a fulsome apology to the former PM and the recommendation that he be given a lovely pony and a hug. Continue reading

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Vote Corbyn and you’ll summon Cthulhu warns Alastair Campbell


Cthulu: currently dormant and dreaming of reducing our sanity to ashes, and renationalising the railways

Former spin doctor Alastair Campbell has warned that voting for Jeremy Corbyn would be a “car crash, and more” for both Labour and the nation as a whole. Specifying that the “more” part would definitely involve the rise of Cthulu, the monstrous entity whose existence is beyond mortal comprehension and whose rise from the stone city of R’lyeh will usher in an era of madness that will destroy our minds along with  civilisation itself. Continue reading


Filed under Politics