Cats and babies to meet in final of Most Boring Facebook Post Subject contest

Twofer: Mister Superpaws, a baby cat

Cats and babies have beaten runners posting their mileage, selfies, humblebrags, motivational quotes, cryptic attention seekers – “Sigh. This is the worst” – pictures of food, game requests, and political/religious rants to meet in the grand final of a contest to determine the most boring subject for a Facebook status.

In the semi-finals, cats comfortably saw off ‘99% of you won’t have the courage to repost this‘ whines while babies kicked constantly posting about your health to the kerb. Now these two titans of yawn are to be pitted against each other.

“It’s got to be babies,” said villager Gill Gates. “Picture after picture, day after day. Parents should stop holding them up and expecting everyone to bow down like it’s the start of the Lion King.”

“Cats are worse than babies,” said Jason Beesley. “They sleep and mooch around, that’s it. Plus they’re only in your house because they can’t buy and open tins themselves.”

The grand final will be held later today with babies expected to beat cats by a comfortable margin. And new parents posting ‘I never really understood how bad – insert horrific news story here – was until my baby was born’ tipped to win the Single Worst Status Award.