“Air strike decision on hold until we decide what to call the bad people” – PM.


Caliphate of Ultra Nationalist Terrorists in Syria

David Cameron is expected to table an urgent commons vote this week to decide the next name to give to the terror group, formally known as ISIL.

The terrorist organization has undergone a series of radical name changes over the last 3 years as their PR machine struggles to find a universally acceptable brand.

Having been known as the ‘So called Islamic State’ for several months now, the so called Prime Minister is understood to think that’s not a very tidy name for a bunch of bloodthirsty  psychopaths.

He is favouring the name ‘Daesh’ since it was used by French President Francois Hollande in the wake of the Paris terror attacks.

“Daesh is considered a derogatory term by the group themselves.” said Mr Cameron outside Downing Street today, “And I firmly believe it is in the interests of British security to call  them by a name they don’t like.”

However, Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has argued for a more conciliatory moniker. In a statement he said “While I agree that these are very naughty people, calling them nasty names will only make them sad, and that is something my conscience can’t agree with.”

As US, French and Russian forces continue to hammer the region back into the stone age, talk of the UK joining in with air strikes will be put on the back burner until the new name has been agreed.

A Conservative Party think tank commissioned a special phone vote on ITV’s ‘This Morning’ programme, which determined the public’s favourite suggestion to be “Caliphate of Ultra Nationalist Terrorists in Syria”.

This is expected to be put to the commons vote, just as soon as a suitable abbreviation can be decided upon.

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