“Screw you foxes!” Badgers delighted to move down a place on Tory hit list

This is what a badger that’s laughing so hard it can’t get up looks like. So now you know.

Badgers across the UK are today dealing with fierce hangovers having spent all weekend celebrating David Cameron’s pledge to repeal the ban on fox hunting.

“It’s not that we hate foxes,” explained Furry Rita, one of the leaders of Harold’s badger community. “It’s more we’re loving not being Tory enemy number one any more. Claws-crossed they’ll even forget to send in the DEFRA death squads this year. Although do come if you fancy your chances, you shooty lowlife’s, we’ve got a surprise for you.”

“At least with us the government have the decency to call it a cull,” she said. “Fox hunting’s a sport, is it Dave? So where’s the contest? I’ve never seen a pack of foxes chasing a red-jacketed arsehole across a field.”