Axelrod accepts turd polishing job at Labour HQ

New Image: Ed slowly morphs into Milibama

New Image: Ed slowly morphs into Milibama

Prompted by the Tories’ hiring of Robert Mugabe’s election manager, Labour has engaged American PR guru, David Axelrod, to mastermind their 2015 election campaign.

The man behind Barak Obama’s successful run for the White House has travelled to London to meet Ed Miliband, and assess the enormity of his task.

There was initial embarrassment on Axelrod’s arrival when he pushed past a weedy inconspicuous doorman, only to be told that the insignificant underling was actually the man who he had to transform into the next Prime Minister in twelve short months.

To give credit to the great man (Axelrod not Miliband, obviously), he barely flinched and started work immediately by speaking at a re-launch press conference. “What can I say?” he said to waiting journalists. “Er …. what can I say?”

He paused for thought and then showed the true credentials of a six figure sum master strategist with a stunning comparison between Miliband and Obama. “I’ll tell you what I can say,” he continued enthusiastically. “Ed Miliband has a good deal in common with President Obama. Obama is a man with great ideas, fantastic oratory skills and awesome charisma. And Ed, is… a man, too.”

Axelrod dismissed suggestions that he may find British politics rather different from the American system. “Hell, you’ve not even held the Primaries yet,” he said cheerfully. “There’s plenty of time for me to get used to things, and for the scar tissue to heal after the plastic surgery.”

Axelrod replaces Wallace & Gromit creator, Nick Park, who has been responsible for Ed Miliband’s public image for the past five years.

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