‘Star Wars is responsible for climate change’ claims academic


Honestly, who seems more real to you? This chap or Kim Kardashian?

Harold academic Professor Monica Simon has launched a stinging attack on Star Wars by saying it is to blame for climate change. Her new book Laugh It Up, Fuzzball: How George Lucas Happily Destroyed Earth claims that the film director has succeeded in brain-washing everyone into “buggering up the planet because they think they can just go to another one.”

“It’s true,” said Professor Simon. “People believe in Star Wars. Hundreds of thousands of put Jedi down as their religion in the 2011 census and using the Force has entered the language. In the Star Wars universe planets and environments are destroyed left, right and centre and no one bats an eyelid. This message has burrowed into people’s brains and made them think that they can ruin Earth and there will still be a happy ending. It’s a trap!”

“Further more,” Professor Simon continued. “Since 1999 there has been a marked downturn in efforts to address climate change and save the planet. It’s as if everyone suddenly lost hope and came to believe that nothing could ever be good again. I call this The Phantom Menace Effect.”

We contacted George Lucas and asked him if he found Professor Simon’s lack of faith in him disturbing and if he wanted to shut her up or shut her down but he simply replied that he wasn’t scared of Professor Simon or her allegations explaining that:

“Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Then he rang off by saying that he had to go see a man about a womp rat.

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