With less than a week until a crucial debate and vote in the US congress over action in Syria, Senators and Congressmen are still awaiting for God to tell them his opinion.
Both sides of the argument have been praying hard to God, however He seem to be procrastinating over the monumental decision. If He has not spoken to them by Sunday, the vote may be put back.
They’ll have him back in 2015 if devolution makes him officially Scottish.
Andy Murray has been disqualified from the US Open for being a tea-drinking surrender monkey as the backlash against Britain by the United States continues.
Since a House of Commons vote on Thursday resulted in no support for the use of force against President Assad’s regime in Syria at this time, the US has had to find a new poodle to yap for it at the United Nations and relations between Britain and the US are at their lowest point since the early eighties when we opened Cats on Broadway and they shot one of the Beatles. Continue reading
He won’t last five minutes in Porthmadog come closing time
In a surprise move last night the 1st Battalion 6th Marines launched a full scale assault on Snowdonia involving the setting up of a beachhead on the coast roughly three miles south of Llandwrog for the landing of additional troops.
Official sources were initially alerted when locals reported seeing bright lights in the sky. These were quickly followed by more reports of shouting and shots being fired. Helen Brice, 54, who had been out walking her dog told us. “It was all very exciting. One minute it was just me and Bingo the next I was surrounded by all these soldiers. They were shouting at me and demanding to know where the traitor was. It was scary but one of them sounded just like Morgan Freeman so I quickly calmed down due to his incredibly soothing voice.” Continue reading
Apparently they don’t all look like this
The standard cliché when reporting on news from the USA may have to be retired following claims from explorers that a third America has been discovered.
“We’re very excited,” said Louisa McClaren, reader in geography at Dunstable University and leader of an expedition which saw a small team of researchers visit all fifty states in the USA. “For a long time pundits have endlessly claimed that America is really two countries with the coastal cities being one and the one where all the culture, science and coherent politics happens and that that country is wrapped around a sprawling mass of flyover states whose inhabitants have dispensed with rational thought and fully embraced Christian fundamentalism, firearms and morbid obesity.” Continue reading