America still unsure about Syria as God is undecided


With less than a week until a crucial debate and vote in the US congress over action in Syria, Senators and Congressmen are still awaiting for God to tell them his opinion.

Both sides of the argument have been praying hard to God, however He seem to be procrastinating over the monumental decision. If He has not spoken to them by Sunday, the vote may be put back.

It is understood that God is cautious over given his backing to the Americans following his the choice he made over Iraq. “I have always thought prayer was a confidential thing, but after George W Bush started being criticised for invading Iraq, he very quickly turned the blame on me, constantly saying ‘God told me to do it’,” God said.

“It seems all the nutters are quick to blame me for their colossal f**k ups, and I want to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“So before I start talking to the American leaders again, I want to weigh up all my options. Especially before I advice Sarah Palin, she is just dangerous even if she is informed let alone misinformed, which is quite a lot of the time.”

It is not just the Americans that are asking for any divine intervention to fall on there side. President Assad in Syria has also been asking God to protect him during any attack on the country, but He couldn’t stay listening to him for too long as His eyes started itching

“Sometimes I just don’t know what to say,” He continued. “So I will give it a bit more thought. Now do excuse me, I’m just going to have a quick word with Richard Dawkins to take my mind off of things. It always freaks him out”

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