“Incredibly, he even boasted about it,” says George Osborne
Media attention was diverted away from the Mossack Fonseca revelations today, following a leak of information from the UK Treasury Office which appears to implicate a former Labour Chancellor in what George Osborne described as the ‘biggest financial scam ever’.
“Gordon Brown siphoned off millions of pounds of taxpayers’ money into a secret tax haven known only by its codename,” said a communiqué issued by the Treasury. “They called it The Public Purse.”
HMRC has waded into the war on terrorism claiming that many of the British-born jihadists are basing themselves in Syria as part of a global tax dodging scheme.
“Fundraising for IS, al-Qaeda or Boko Haram is not only morally wrong, but by moving their jihadi activity offshore they are effectively robbing the treasury of some much-needed revenue,” the Taxpayers’ Alliance said
“How can we stop radicalisation if these terrorists aren’t paying their dues?”
Yeah you and me we can ride on a star. If you stay with me Dave, we can rule the world. Yeah you and me we can light up the sky. If you stay by my side, we can rule the world…
Chris claims he thought 'BBC' stood for 'Bumpers, Boot and Cupholders'
Former Radio 1 DJ Chris Moyles has said he is disappointed to discover he is not a second-hand car salesman as declared on his 2008 self-assessment tax return. The news came to Moyles during a tribunal into a claim he used “working wheels” to avoid paying up to £1m in tax.
“I genuinely thought I had what it takes,” Moyles said in a statement. “I had over £600,000 appearing in my bank account that year and hadn’t even kicked a tyre, let alone set foot on a forecourt. Imagine how well I could have done if I had put more into it.
For a wad of grubby lucre, he won’t keep going on about profit margins, depreciation and capital allowances.
It’s the time of year when many self-employed people start to panic about the January Tax Return deadline.
“They catch me out every year, sneaking their brown oblong envelope in among the Christmas cards,” said Pippa Delaney, owner of Veggie! Veggie! Veggie! in Harold. “How jolly nice of HMRC to send me a seasonal payslip.”
But help is now at hand with a local accountancy firm getting ready for their January Sale. “We’ve got loads of special offers lined up,” said Geoffrey King, of King’s Counting House, “and some real bargains in our Down A Bit On Last Year range of simplified Tax Returns and, for the client whose dog chewed up his business records, our unique Sounds About Right range of off-the-peg accounts.”
This is me good side. Youse can photoshop in me sad expression later.
Dear Mr Zuma,
Thank you for me invite to the Nelson Mandela memorial service. It is a great honour that you thought of me, although it’s no surprise that you did.
However, on this occasion I feel duty-bound to turn down yer kind and humble request. I can’t really take 100% of the credit for dismantling apartheid, although it would be fair to say I’m almost there with the ol’ poverty and what-not.