Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs have announced the are to apply for charitable status in an attempt to get “celebrities” to pay some contribution towards society.
The move comes as Gary Barlow joins Jimmy Carr and Chris Moyles to be threatened with the naughty step over their dubious tax affairs.
Lin Homer, chief executive of HMRC explained: “Trying to get these wealthy people to pay their fair share is impossible. We’re sure it’s because you don’t get any publicity for filling in a self assessment form.
Yeah you and me we can ride on a star. If you stay with me Dave, we can rule the world. Yeah you and me we can light up the sky. If you stay by my side, we can rule the world…
Where’s the rest of the month? Oh…
As the date of the latest apocalyptic prediction draws closer, with the Viking apocalypse Ragnorak set to occur on February 22nd, the leader of a secret society dedicated to the protection of mankind has bemoaned their continuing lack of recognition.
“People noticed that Gary Barlow and David Beckham were not knighted in the 2014 New Year Honours List, but nobody batted an eyelid at the fact that all of our members were overlooked once again, despite having prevented the end of the world numerous times.” complained a man who insisted on being referred to as ‘Grand Master’. Continue reading
It’s not about singing
Simon Cowell has announced that he will drastically overhaul the format of the X Factor for 2014 to ensure that a talented, but unattractive older woman does not accidentally win the show again.
Sam Bailey, 36, was crowned the winner of the show’s tenth series on Sunday after some incredible vocal performances, but Cowell is concerned that she is not photogenic enough to sell posters and magazines to teenage girls. Continue reading